Why do you need to acknowledge our kids’ efforts?

While googling information on “acknowledging your child”, I found a whole bunch of expert articles on why you should acknowledge your kid's efforts. But I rarely saw any real stories from parents, especially dads, about how their kids actually reacted to this acknowledgment.

Growing up, except for my mom, I don't remember getting much encouragement on matters and activities outside of the traditional sphere.I was told to stick to the usual stuff - studies, approved friends, acceptable fun and weirdly “talk only in English” trope. Looking back, I wish I'd been encouraged more. But there's no point dwelling on the past. As a parent, I knew I had to do better.

My wife and I started out thinking that encouraging our daughter would boost her confidence. But we soon realized that acknowledging everything she focused on was even more fruitful.

It was purely observational, but every time we acknowledged what she was doing, there was this gleam of joy in her eyes, her face just lit up. She knew her efforts didn't go to waste. As she grew, she took on all sorts of activities. All she wanted from us was our undivided attention and acknowledgment afterward. We all know what a simple validation from your seniors at work can do to your self-esteem and self-confidence.

We noticed a pattern: the more we acknowledged a trait, the more she'd do it and try to improve. She was increasing her own complexity level, and it was amazing to watch. Imagine if we'd just said, "No baby, you can't do it. It's cute and all, but yeah, do something else." It would have crushed her spirit. I know it did mine. And we are less of “ok here is feedback” people and more of a “I don't know, figure it out” people.

This acknowledgment boosted her self-worth and did wonders for her self-esteem. Her confidence to perform in front of people is phenomenal. She's not that typical shy girl who turns red when put in front of a crowd. She just goes out there and performs to the sound of applause and hope of accolades. And this is exactly what we as parents were aiming for, let her keep trying and improving because she is good.

But acknowledgment doesn't always have to be positive. It can also be a feedback loop. We make sure to give structured feedback, pointing out both good and bad things. For me, it's important to introduce her to this because as she gets older, she'll realize that feedback is a professional way of people wanting you to improve, not a personal attack.

The key is to say it with every part of your body. Don't be fake or use hollow words - kids have a knack for knowing when you're lying. Be excited with them, be expressive, put up a strong face, and let them know you genuinely enjoyed what they did.

In the end, acknowledging your child's efforts isn't just about boosting their confidence. It's about showing them that their interests and passions matter. It's about teaching them to value their own work and the work of others. And most importantly, it's about building a strong, supportive relationship with your kid.

So the question is:

Why do you need to acknowledge our kids’ efforts?
Take a moment and really look at what they've done whether it’s their latest crayon masterpiece or performs a wobbly cartwheel. Show them you've noticed their effort. Trust me, that moment of connection is worth more than you can imagine. It's not just encouraging them; it's helping shape who they'll become. And that is what parenting is about.