Netflix’s Adolescence, the most watched show in the world, pierced my heart like a thousand needles. A four-part series that just tears into the harrowing experience of the Miller family and their son, Jamie, who is arrested for the murder of his classmate, Katie. My senses were locked onto every action, every word, every character’s journey. As a father of a young daughter this show pained me, filling me with anxiety about the future of my daughter and her generation.
What is so unique about this show is that all four episodes is shot in ONE TAKE, which means there were no cuts or transitions from one shot to another. The drama was continuous. So you can only imagine how powerful the performances are, a technique almost near-perfect for a show of this nature. Every agonizing minute pushing you to the edge of the seat and your mind. For me it wasn’t “ok what’s going to happen next?” but more like “Ok why? Why would this sweet 13 year old boydo this? What drove him to take such a drastic and stupid step?”
The theme of machismo, misogyny and the toxic elements of incel culture is so craftily woven into the show, if this show doesn’t direct more hatred towards Andrew Tate then I don’t know what will. Using the medium of social me media to propagate his brand of hyper masculinity is affecting young boys and their views of women in this world today. The story plays out in a small town in the UK, but it definitely mirrors a reality that many of us are seeing clearly: today’s adolescents are exposed to destructive information and are unfortunately consuming it at an addictive rate.
This isn’t the environment that I grew up in, and I surely don’t want my daughter to be affected by such severity. My recent article on The Anxious Generation explored how our youth is burdened with fears and uncertainties. Adolescence extends that conversation. It shows us that while anxiety and pressure are not new, the landscape of challenges has evolved. The pressures of social media, the relentless pursuit of validation online, and the digital echo chambers that reinforce negative stereotypes have only intensified the emotional toll on young people.
But for me more than the son, my heart went out for the father. A hard-working man who just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that his 13 year old boy could do something like this. There was a line that I am sure a lot of us would connect with - he says that my dad would beat me up everyday but when I become a parent I will make sure I never beat my kids. Another interesting scene where his wife and him are discussing if they could have done something to intervene and keep a check on his social media consumption. Everything about their son is eating them from the inside every single day, it was extremely painful and sad to watch.
This show has definitely got people to get up and take notice, a couple of weeks ago the creators of this show appealed that radical action is required and not role models. As a parent I agree with this 100%, enough of lip service, it’s high time we as a society intervene and take certain steps. Should we go the Australia way that is planning to introduce legislation to ban the use of smartphones and social media platforms by children till the age of 16? Or is it too stringent a measure in today’s day and age where the new generation is born into this technology. How does one ensure safety online for kids?
As a father raising a daughter, I’m constantly asking myself: how can I shield her from these negative influences while still allowing her to explore the world freely? And for boy parents out there, the challenge is equally daunting. How do we teach our sons to reject toxic masculinity while embracing equality and kindness? What has worked for me and my wife is to always have open lines of communication with our daughter. Taking away the device from her is definitely not a fool-proof solution, she will find a way to get exposed to one. Consistency in ensuring that she can discuss anything with us, making her feel comfortable that we will not react sharply to her questions, queries or anything related to her consuming content online. We also ensure her that there will be no judgement from our side and that she is free to check on anything that she might not have answers to.
This show is a loud call to action for parents to engage deeply with their children's digital lives. It is also a strong reminder that we don’t need to wait till our kids reach adolescence to engage with them about digital information, it needs to start as and when our kids get exposed to it. And let’s not forget how vital is a school’s role in educating ours kids, both boys and girls in equal measure about the ugly and risk-ridden content floating around on the internet.
The show doesn’t give you direct answers, but it sure makes you ask some tough questions. And if one of your questions is “Well what was the point of this show?” Then maybe you are part of the problem.
